Showing posts with label le français. Show all posts
Showing posts with label le français. Show all posts

Sunday, 18 September 2011

Silly Alex

I received an email about a month ago saying I have yet to activate my french bank account that I opened in September 2010 and could I please activate it.  The fucking french!  Slow much?  You are a year late.  Anyways, before I left the country I made sure to close my account because it is virtually impossible to do so after you leave the country (made that mistake back in '09).  Things seemed to go smoothly, or as smoothly as anything goes in France and I thought I had successfully left the country this time (stupid).
Therefore, I was not expecting this email, however, I can't say that I was surprised.  Anyway I wrote my response and although I realized that the french wasn't great, I figured it was understandable.  I was about to send it when I realized my old french roommate was online so I might as well have him check it and make it sound more formal.  In English it would go something like
"Hello,
I don't live in Paris anymore, therefore I do not want a bank account with you anymore.  I thought I had already closed my account.  It would be great if you could close it.
Thank you for your help and understanding
Alex"

so I sent it to Antoine and told him I wasn't sure about the last sentence (excuse my french):

"Bonjour,
Je n'habite plus à Paris alors je ne veux plus un compte avec HSBC. J'ai pensé que j'avais déjà fermé mon compte. C'est bien si vous fermez-le.
Merci de votre aide et de votre comprehension.
Alexandra"
I cant figure out the last sentence



hahahha
c est bien si vous le fermez means it s cool if you shut up

Apparently I said "It would be great if you shut up" instead of "It would be great if you could close it" (in regards to the account).  I knew I had heard that expression before!  Thank god I didn't send it before talking to Antoine.

Thursday, 31 March 2011

No Babies

The day I introduced myself to the principal and teachers at my main school this year was memorable.  The door opens and after saying Bonjour, I introduce myself as the pregnant woman with English.......it was one of those moments where I knew it was going to happen before it did and I tried to stop it and that's why it happened.  Tu vois?
The word for teacher is Enseignant (en-seing-aunt), and the word for pregnant is Enceinte (en-saunt) and yes I knew the difference, very well in fact.  I have often thought about how similar the words sound to me.  Maybe I foresaw this happening in my future, or maybe my thinking about it made it happen.  We'll never know, but I was clearly off to a great start because it turns out the guy I was embarassing myself to was my new boss! 
At first he was just confused and pointed me in the direction of the maternity school, and then he realized that I'm a dumbass and tried not to laugh.  How we managed to hold a successful meeting after I do not know.  I had to fight off cracking up constantly.  He was much more professional.  Et voilà my most embarassing moment.
Anyways, moral of my story is my boss rocks.  I continue to embarass myself and he is nothing but awesome and gracious.  Work is so much nicer when you like who you're working for.

Lucky lucky lucky.  I am so lucky.  And I think I'm moving to Australia

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Les Mains Sales

Hoederer
Quelle rage avez-vous tous de jouer aux tueurs?  Ce sont des types sans imagination : ça leur est égal de donner la mort parce qu'ils n'ont aucune idée de ce que c'est la vie.  Je préfère les gens qui ont peur de la mort des autres : c'est la preuve qu'ils savent vivre.

So this is from the same play, different scene.  I just don't want to forget these ideas, so I guess this is the place for them.  Books can be so good.

Hugo
Fais un effort, Jessica.  Sois sérieuse.

Jessica
Pourqoui faut-il que je sois sériuse?

Hugo
Parce qu'on ne peut pas jouer tout le temps.

Jessica
Je n'aime pas le sérieux, mais on va s'arranger : je vais jouer à être sérieuse.

My new favorite expression

'Tes légumes, ils sont fatigués.' - The lady I live with informed me earlier today.

Literal translation:  'Your vegetables, they are tired'...which sounds so pleasant to the ears :)  but, in English basically translates to:  'Your vegetables are about to rot, you should eat them'...not as cool.

Tes légumes, ils sont fatigués...
Awesome.  Vive la France du Général de Gaulle!

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Twice



LES DEUX PIGEONS. 
Deux Pigeons s'aimaient d'amour tendre.
L'un d'eux s'ennuyant au logis
Fut assez fou pour entreprendre
Un voyage en lointain pays.
L'autre lui dit : Qu'allez-vous faire ?
Voulez-vous quitter votre frère ?
L'absence est le plus grand des maux :
Non pas pour vous, cruel. Au moins que les travaux,
Les dangers, les soins du voyage,
Changent un peu votre courage.
Encore si la saison s'avançait davantage !
Attendez les zéphyrs : qui vous presse? Un Corbeau
Tout à l'heure annonçait malheur à quelque Oiseau.
Je ne songerai plus que rencontre funeste,
Que Faucons, que réseaux. Hélas, dirai-je, il pleut :
Mon frère a-t-il tout ce qu'il veut,
Bon soupé, bon gîte, et le reste ?
Ce discours ébranla le cœur
De notre imprudent voyageur ;
Mais le désir de voir et l'humeur inquiète
L'emportèrent enfin. Il dit : Ne pleurez point :
Trois jours au plus rendront mon âme satisfaite ;
Je reviendrai dans peu conter de point en point
Mes aventures à mon frère.
Je le désennuierai :quiconque ne voit guère
N'a guère à dire aussi. Mon voyage dépeint
Vous sera d'un plaisir extrême.
Je dirai : J'étais là ; telle chose m'avint;
Vous y croirez être vous-même.
A ces mots en pleurant ils se dirent adieu.
Le voyageur s'éloigne ; et voilà qu'un nuage
L'oblige de chercher retraite en quelque lieu.
Un seul arbre s'offrit, tel encore que l'orage
Maltraita le Pigeon en dépit du feuillage.
L'air devenu serein, il part tout morfondu,
Sèche du mieux qu'il peut son corps chargé de pluie,
Dans un champ à l'écart voit du blé répandu,
Voit un Pigeon auprès : cela lui donne envie :
Il y vole, il est pris : ce blé couvrait d'un lacs
Les menteurs et traîtres appas.
Le lacs était usé : si bien que de son aile,
De ses pieds, de son bec, l'oiseau le rompt enfin.
Quelque plume y périt : et le pis du destin
Fut qu'un certain vautour à la serre cruelle,
Vit notre malheureux qui, traînant la ficelle
Et les morceaux du las qui l'avaient attrapé,
Semblait un forçat échappé.
Le Vautour s'en allait le lier, quand des nues
Fond à son tour un aigle aux ailes étendues.
Le Pigeon profita du conflit des voleurs,
S'envola, s'abattit auprès d'une masure,
Crut, pour ce coup, que ses malheurs
Finiraient par cette aventure ;
Mais un fripon d'enfant, cet âge est sans pitié
Prit sa fronde, et, du coup, tua plus d'à moitié
La Volatile malheureuse,
Qui, maudissant sa curiosité,
Traînant l'aile et tirant le pié,
Demi-morte et demi-boiteuse,
Droit au logis s'en retourna :
Que bien, que mal elle arriva
Sans autre aventure fâcheuse.
Voilà nos gens rejoints ; et je laisse à juger
De combien de plaisirs ils payèrent leurs peines.
Amants, heureux amants , voulez-vous voyager?
Que ce soit aux rives prochaines ;
Soyez-vous l'un à l'autre un monde toujours beau,
Toujours divers, toujours nouveau ;
Tenez-vous lieu de tout, comptez pour rien le reste.
J'ai quelquefois aimé : je n'aurais pas alors
Contre le Louvre et ses trésors,
Contre le firmament et sa voûte céleste,
Changé les bois, changé les lieux
Honorés par les pas, éclairés par les yeux
De l'aimable et jeune bergère
Pour qui, sous le fils de Cythère,
Je servis, engagé par mes premiers serments.
Hélas! Quand reviendront de semblables moments?
Faut-il que tant d'objets si doux et si charmants
Me laissent vivre au gré de mon âme inquiète?
Ah! si mon cœur osait encore se renflammer!
Ne sentirai-je plus de charme qui m'arrête?
Ai-je passé le temps d'aimer?
THE TWO PIGEONS.

Two Doves, twin-brothers of a nest.
By tender friendship's flame possest,
Long liv'd, as Pythias with his Damon —
Neither abroad desir'd to roam ;
Till one at length, grown sick of home, 
A restless, rambling fancy came on.

To check the whim, his brother tried : 
" Can you then leave me thus ?" he cried —
" On absence think what pangs attend !
" Think of the peril which besets
" The wandVing bird — storms, falcons, nets :—
" O spare the feelings of your friend.
" Or stay at least till spring's mild season —
" Then lightly skim the tepid breeze on ;
" But now you wayward fate provoke.
*' At ev'ry driving show'r of sleet
" My anxious heart will sadly beat !
" Heard you that boding raven's croak ?'" 
 
When first these fond complaints were heard,
It shook the purpose of the Bird ;
But soon the roving rage prevails.
" Grieve not, dear friend," he says, and sighs,
" By travel, men and birds grow wise ; 
" How charm'd you'll be to hear my tales !
" The distant scenes beheld by me,
" In narrative yourself shall see —
" Who nothing sees, can nothing tell :
" And three short days, at most, shall bring
" Your brother home on rapid wing :
" So dry your tears — adieu — farewell !"

He fled : — the harbingers of storm.
Black gathering clouds, heav'n's face deform.
And loud and shrill the tempest blows :
In torrents pour'd the drenching rain;
One leafless tree upon the plain,

Alone its shelter thin bestows.

But soon, the pelting deluge done,
His ruffled plumage to the sun 
He spreads, and joyful onward flies :
'Till in his course a sheltered nook,
Where grain was strewM, with eager look,

Hungry, and wet, and faint, he spies.

A Pigeon, too, was feeding there :
So, heedless of the lurking snare,
He darted down as swift as thought.
Too soon he finds the fell deceit ;
The toils surround his tangled feet —

The novice in the trap is caught.
But fickle Fortune here was kind ;
His limbs tho' hempen fetters bind.
Distress and joy arrive together.
Thro' meshes weak, by time decay 'd,
With bill, wings, feet, a breach he made.
And scap'd, with loss of many a feather.
The captive freed a Vulture saw.
And aim'd to seize with felon claw: —

Fortune again evinc'd her sway;
A royal Eagle, soaring high.
Shot thro' the liquid azure sky.
And claim'd, as his, the helpless prey.
Whilst the two ruffians fiercely strove,
Escapes th' emancipated Dove,
And flatfring hope to dawn began :
But soon an urchin with his sling.
Observed him rest his weary wing : —

How cruel are the sports of man !

The whizzing stone, with dextVous aim,
Flew to its mark; now hurt, and lame.

Our Dove of rambling rage was cur'd.
He crept home safe, tho' tempest-tost,
And in th' embrace of friendship, lost
The pain his luckless flight endur'd.

Ye Lovers ! to these lays attend :
Take warning by this roving friend —
'Twill profit those who well receive it.
If once in port your sails are furl'd,
There anchor : — there you've all the world— 

You'll lose your treasure if you leave it.

Yet absence ( O forgive, Fontaine,
If I pervert thy tender strain) 
Brings sweeter bliss when joy returns.
The torch of Love then blazes highV,
And steady Friendship's sacred fire

By absence fann'd still brighter burns. 
 
 
 
I actually really disliked this poem when I had to read it in school, 
or maybe it saddened me because it reminded me of how I'm always 
taking off to travel away from everyone. 
Therefore, I also didn't like the way the traveler is put in a bad light. 
Looking back though, I don't think I ever finished it, 
I thought until now that the pigeon died while he was away, 
or found someone else...a much more French ending if you ask me. 
He also says 'Adieu', which is what you say if you're never going 
to see someone again.
I'm more attached to my version of how the poem ends, but whatever. 
This video doesn't really apply to the way Fontaine ends the fable,
but when I saw the video it immediately reminded me of this poem...
Or the one that was in my head I guess.

Sunday, 5 December 2010

I HATE SLEEPING ALONE!!

and I hate that the metro closes at night, and I hate that it is impossible to get a taxi, and I hate that it is Freeezing! and I hate that the system is so inefficient and I hate that everything is so expensive, and I hate that I can't walk at night alone, and I hate assholes and I hate the differentiation between TU and VOUS, fucking FUCK YOU!!  How fucking pretentious!

France's motto :  Hello, how can I most inconvenience you?......formally

Talking shit on France for the past day has been thoroughly entertaining however, so I can thank it for that...The Christmas market was cute too I guess...And the snow is pretty...

"This town is full of cock-suckers, but when you begin to hate it, that's when you're becoming a real Parisian."

Monday, 8 November 2010

La Fête de Dictators

 
Danny était le Disco Hitler et moi j'étais La Mort.  Il était aussi Stalin, Mao et Indira Ghandi entre autres.  J'aime bien les fête déguisé, surtout en France!  C'était une soirée juste avant le Halloween.  Le trajet toute seule dans le metro était amusant.  Les parents ont disait "wow!  tu m'as fait peur!" en riant et les enfants ont disait "mais maman!  Halloween est demain!"  Mais les enfants s'ont trompé.  À Santa Barbara, c'est vachement une fête qui dure toute la semaine.  Et quelle grande fête!  Ohhh SB


Les Affiches
Long live Fascisme
Adolf Hitler was a good piano player.

Tasers are good; Machetes are better!

Je m'appelle Alexandra la Commandante, et j'approuve ce message.
However, I do not approve of the mid-term election results.

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

TA MERE

Un peu de respect, hein? J'aurais pu être ton père si j'avais couru plus vite que la ragonda!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9thjgHGS38k